I'm Wa!

Welcome to my world of thoughts. Most of the time, actually I'm just talking to myself. Oh ya, I love foods so much and I hope I can share some useful recipes in here besides my thoughts. Thank you for visiting!

Wednesday, December 16, 2020

Maybe Not Now



bismillah

actually I did write something else
but then I decided to keep it to myself
because of the recent case 
so this is not the right time
to share something like that
part of me reminds myself about 5th verse of ikrar kesatria

it's raining now and I'm struggling to keep myself warm
because I did turn the AC on
memanglah sejuk kan?

oh, sebenarnya aku nak share gambar
tapi entahlah kan
paranoid sangat
better be safe than sorry
orang zaman sekarang bukan boleh caya
so nanti-nantilah aku share
kalau aku rasa nak share

hey, it's Sushi Bonanza week!
and I did going twice already hahaha
tak lupa jugak, semalam birthday anak buah aku
dah setahun dia hidup
sabarlah nak, don't grow up so fast
nanti dah besar, nak jadi kecik balik

entah apa bendalah aku nak merapu tengah-tengah malam ni kat sini
dah lah
tak ada idea ni 
tido lagi bagus

adios!

Wednesday, December 2, 2020

Almost A Wrap



bismillah

hari ni Spotify bagi 2020 Wrapped
jadi aku nak share sikitlah apa yang aku selalu dengar dekat Spotify aku
basically I have spent 24 417 minutes listening to Spotify
amazingly my top artist is Ustaz Dzulkarnain
and followed by Linkin Park
it's nothing to be proud of, of course
and this #2020Wrapped is nothing to prove
at least for me

my top song was "Had Enough" by G-Eazy
well, it's just me, nothing to do with people around me
and I kinda did listen to "Humko Hamise Chura Lo" quite a time
I mean, we all have our own preferences to everything in life, right
so you do you, and I do me
just respect each others' choices
that will do

after seeing this list made by Spotify
sometimes I wonder, why do I listen to that particular song almost every day
and every time I listened to Spotify, why did I listen to the same song?
but we can't change how we are, can we?
like lately I've been into French songs 
but Spotify didn't really count that, maybe they did but why bother?

what I'm trying to say is sometimes we tend to change ourselves
just to prove to everyone that we are not what statistics showed us our true colour
we can always be in denial
we don't want people to see us as vulnerable as we thought people does 
and to change ourselves just to be that perfect person is tiring
but we still do because we are afraid of what people think of us
which actually means we are afraid of ourselves

this is me talking about myself
I did thought of this image of myself after knowing my #2020Wrapped
I don't want to share it at first 
but actually no one cares about me
so I did share it on my instagram 
of course with some insecurity of being judged by my families and friends

this image I'm talking about is maybe some of my friends thought that I'm an open book
or maybe someone extrovert
but what if I'm an unpredictable open book? 
you know for sure what open book is, but sometimes you can't read it
because it's cryptic and complicated

yes, I do have trust issues
like a lot
and while typing this made me teary
I don't know if I want to continue opening up in this blog
but this always make me cry
never fails

that's it, I don't want to talk about me too much
people don't notice, don't bother proving yourself
just let it slide
no one cares

adios